What Holidays Really Look Like for SEN Families

When I think back to our last family holiday, the first thing that comes to mind isn't the destination. It's the drive there.

We'd booked a few nights away at a caravan park and the kids were incredibly excited. Devan thought the caravan was the coolest thing ever. We'd talked about the trip for weeks, counted down the days, and built up all the anticipation that comes with a family holiday.

But the actual journey felt endless to him. The longer we drove, the more frustrated he became.

"How much longer?"
"Are we nearly there?"
"This is taking forever!"

By the time we arrived, he was completely overwhelmed and dysregulated, which set the tone for the holiday. And if I'm being completely honest, I found our time away really hard.

There always seemed to be another tantrum or meltdown around the corner. We were living in very close quarters - there was nowhere to escape to - and I often found myself going for walks alone just to get some space and reset. Anthony naturally spent more time with Devan, while Alyssa and I did more together.

It wasn't the relaxing family break I had imagined. And I know I'm not the only SEN parent who's felt that way.

The Reality Nobody Talks About

There's a saying that "holidays with children are just parenting in a different location".

And I think that's true for most families. But for SEN families, holidays can feel even harder.

At home, our children tend to manage because life is predictable. They know what happens when they wake up. They know where things are. They know the routine.

Then we take them somewhere completely different; somewhere that comes with new beds, new food, new schedules, new environments, and new expectations.

Everything that normally helps them feel safe and regulated suddenly changes all at once. So it's no surprise that many children struggle.

Why Holidays Can Feel Overwhelming

Looking back now, I can see so many reasons why our holidays have been difficult for Devan.

The journey itself was challenging. Whether we were driving across the country or flying abroad, the process always felt too long for him.

He loved the idea of flying. The reality was different. The excitement wore off quickly. He didn't like how his ears felt. He was nervous about using the toilet on the plane. Sitting still for long periods wasn't easy.

Even when we arrived, there were still lots of unknowns.

What are we doing today?
When are we going swimming?
What's for lunch?
Where's the disco?

If you've got a child who thrives on predictability, you'll probably recognise this.

Devan has always liked to know exactly what's happening. Not because he's trying to be difficult, but because uncertainty can feel uncomfortable. And, as we know, holidays are full of uncertainty.

What We've Learned Helps

Over the years, we've found a few things that make travelling much easier.

Prepare Early

One of the biggest things that helped us was preparing well before we left.

We'd do holiday countdowns, talk about what the travel day would look like, explain where we were going, and answer the same questions over and over again.

Did he still ask another hundred times? Absolutely.

But preparation reduced some of the anxiety that comes with the unknown.

Bring Familiarity With You

When so much around your child is changing, familiar items can make a huge difference.

For us, that meant bringing things like:

- His GroClock
- Familiar bedtime books
- His tablet for downtime and distractions
- Favourite snacks whenever possible

Just keeping as much of our normal bedtime routine as possible helped. The surroundings were different, but some things stayed the same. And that mattered.

Don't Overlook Basic Needs

One thing I've learned about Devan is that hunger changes everything.

If food is delayed, if snacks aren't available, or if he doesn't know when the next meal is coming, frustration builds quickly. This is true at home too, but it becomes even more noticeable on holiday when routines are less predictable. Having snacks available has saved us from many difficult moments (and not having snacks available has ruined many a day).

Build in Downtime

One mistake many parents make is trying to fill every moment. After all, you're on holiday. You want to make the most of it.

But many SEN children need breaks just as much as they need activities. Some of our best holiday decisions involved doing very little - watching TV in the room, reading books, laying at the pool, having quiet time between activities.

It might not look exciting from the outside, but sometimes downtime is exactly what keeps the rest of the day manageable.

Let Go of the "Perfect Holiday"

This might be the biggest lesson I've learned.

Before becoming a parent, I imagined holidays as relaxed, carefree experiences. The reality looks very different.

Sometimes we had to leave the evening entertainment early because the noise and busyness became too overwhelming. And sometimes leaving caused its own meltdown.

Sometimes we spent hours doing the same activity because Devan had found something he loved and didn't want to move on. Swimming was always his happy place. The pools, the slides, being in the water - he could have stayed there all day.

And honestly? That's okay. I've learned that trying to force my version of the perfect holiday usually (always) ends badly. It's far better to meet your child where they are and adjust your expectations accordingly.

A Resource I Wish We'd Had

The truth is, many of the challenges we experienced on holiday are exactly why I created My Holiday Activity Book.

After travelling with my own children, I realised how helpful it would have been to have one place that combined:

- Holiday preparation
- Emotional check-ins
- Visual planning tools
- Regulation strategies
- Travel-friendly activities
- Fun distractions for waiting times

I wanted something that could help children prepare for the journey, understand their feelings, and stay engaged during those inevitable moments of waiting, travelling, or downtime.

It's not about creating a perfect holiday. It's about giving children a little more structure and support when so much around them feels different.

Closing Thoughts

If you're preparing for a holiday with your SEN child, I want you to know something:

It's okay if your holiday doesn't look like everyone else's. Don't compare your family to the smiling photos you see on social media. You have absolutely no idea what happened 5 minutes before that picture was taken - how many tears were shed, how many arguments happened, how many times someone threatened to turn around and go home!

What matters isn't perfection. It's making memories together.

My children still talk about our holidays in Gran Canaria, Corfu, and our caravan adventure years later. Not because everything went smoothly (it didn't). Not because there were no meltdowns (there were). But because we were together.

And when I look back now, that's what I remember most. The challenges were real. But so were the memories. And those memories were worth it 💜