Preparing for the Holidays Without the Overwhelm

Summer holidays - a time we’re meant to look forward to. Sunshine, slower mornings, maybe even a chance to exhale. But for many of us parenting neurodivergent children, it can feel like more of a juggling act than a break.

The regular routines vanish. Childcare becomes a maze. Activities you hoped would feel special become sources of stress. And while social media is flooded with picture-perfect snapshots of beach days and family trips, the reality for many families - ours included - looks a little different.

We don’t travel in summer, not because we wouldn’t love to, but because its really just not affordable for us! And luckily this is the one time of year where the UK weather actually plays nice, so we stay local and keep things simple. Our kids attend different camps each week - partly for variety, partly to keep a loose sense of structure while we continue working. But even that change, week by week, can feel like a lot for them to process.

I used to feel guilty about not having big plans. But over time, I’ve realised that what our kids need most during the holidays isn’t fanfare - it’s a sense of safety, predictability, and connection. And what we need as parents is permission to stop trying to do it all.

Here are some things that help us approach the holidays with a little more calm, and a little less chaos.

1. Lower the Pressure

You don’t have to recreate Pinterest or live up to someone else’s highlight reel. Your holiday doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s - only what works for your family.

If that means one camp, one outing a week, and lots of home days with water play in the garden, that’s more than enough. You’re allowed to say no to what doesn’t serve you.

2. Plan Early - But Stay Flexible

Writing things down, even loosely, can make everything feel more manageable. It’s like uncluttering your brain and setting down a weight you didn’t realise you were carrying. A simple weekly overview helps us all feel a bit more grounded - especially when we can see what’s coming next.

At the same time, flexibility is key. Plans change. Moods shift. And that’s okay. Give yourself space to move things around when you need to.

3. Anticipate Your Child’s Needs

Think ahead to what might feel tricky: Is there a sensory environment that could be overwhelming? Will a new setting or new staff at camp be a challenge? Can you prepare your child for transitions with a countdown or social story?

Even small adjustments - like packing comfort items, explaining what the day will look like, or building in recovery time - can help your child feel more in control, and less anxious.

4. Create ‘Save Me’ Strategies

Sometimes the day doesn’t go to plan - for you or your child. Having a few strategies in your back pocket can be a lifeline. Think quiet spaces, calming activities, or even a go-to phrase you use to de-escalate in the moment.

These aren’t about avoiding every hard moment. They’re about knowing what to reach for when those moments come.

5. Involve Your Kids in the Planning

Giving your child some ownership - choosing an activity, helping pack for camp, or deciding what to do on a free day - can make all the difference. It helps reduce resistance, builds their sense of control, and makes the days more collaborative instead of combative.

Sometimes, asking “What would make this a good day for you?” opens up surprising and helpful conversations.

A Gentle Reminder

The holidays don’t have to be perfect. They just have to be yours. Your version. Your rhythm. Your wins - even the little ones.

If you’re feeling stretched or uncertain about the weeks ahead, just know that you’re not alone in this. So many of us are figuring it out as we go, one week at a time, one meltdown at a time, one soft moment of connection at a time.

And we’re doing just fine.