Helping Your Child Transition Back to School: Tips for SEN Parents

Every year, as the summer holidays start drawing to a close, I find myself feeling two emotions at exactly the same time.

One is sadness. I've loved not rushing in the mornings, scrambling for uniforms, and worrying about homework, and rather just enjoying the slower pace and lower expectations that summer brings.

The other? Relief. Because by the end of the holidays, our whole family is craving routine again. If I'm honest, routine is what helps our home function. For Devan especially.

The Smallest Gesture That Makes the Biggest Difference

One of my favourite things our school does actually happens before the school year even begins.

The day before everyone goes back, Devan is invited to visit his new classroom. He gets to meet his new teacher and teaching assistant, look around the classroom, find his peg, ask questions, and simply become familiar with it all.

It's such a small gesture. But for children like Devan, it makes an enormous difference.

While we're there, I always take Alyssa too. The first year I didn't because I didn't realise what the visit involved, but since then I've brought her along to meet her teacher as well. The school has always been wonderfully accommodating, and it's become a lovely part of our back-to-school routine.

Every year I walk away feeling incredibly grateful. Not because the visit guarantees a perfect first day. But because it removes some of the unknown. And I've learned that for children with additional needs, that matters more than we sometimes realise.

Preparation Creates Confidence

One thing I've noticed over the years is that Devan rarely struggles because school itself is difficult. He struggles when things feel unfamiliar. The unknown is often far scarier than the reality. When he knows what's coming, who his teacher is, what his classroom looks like, and what to expect, he walks into that first day with far more confidence.

It reminds me that preparation isn't about wrapping our children in cotton wool. It's about giving them the tools to feel safe enough to embrace something new.

Bringing Routine Back Gently

Our holiday days naturally look very different to term-time days. There are far more snacks than usual (if you know, you know!). Bedtimes become a little more relaxed. Pyjamas stay on longer the next day. Homework disappears for a while. It's wonderful... until suddenly it isn't.

At least a week before school starts, we gently begin bringing some of that structure back. Bedtimes become a little earlier. Morning routines become a little more structured. And we start talking about school again - not in a way that creates pressure, but in a way that makes it feel exciting and predictable.

The transition doesn't begin on the first day of term. For us, it starts long before then.

Talk About What's Coming

Something we've found really helpful is simply talking. We'll chat about who'll be in their class. What subjects they're looking forward to. Whether there are any worries. What lunchtime might look like.

Sometimes the questions seem endless. Sometimes Devan asks me the same question over and over again. But I've realised those questions aren't to be annoying. They're because he needs reassuring. Every answer removes a little more uncertainty.

Expect Big Feelings

Even children who are excited about going back to school can find the transition exhausting. Both of my children genuinely enjoy school. They're excited to see their friends again, and thankfully we've never had much resistance about going back. But that doesn't mean the adjustment is easy.

The first few weeks often bring tiredness, emotional ups and downs, and the challenge of getting used to routines all over again. As parents, it's easy to expect that, because the first morning went well, everything will continue smoothly. But transitions take time.

Give your child - and yourself - a little grace during those first few weeks.

Every Child Is Different

One thing I've learned through parenting Devan is that there's no universal checklist that guarantees a smooth transition.

Some children need lots of information beforehand. Others need visual timetables. Some need opportunities to visit school early. Others benefit from social stories or role play at home.

The important thing isn't doing everything. It's finding what helps your child feel more prepared.

Why I Created My Back-to-School Transition Book

Over the years, I've realised how fortunate we've been that our school offers transition visits for children who need a little extra support. I also know that not every family has access to that.

That's one of the reasons I created My Back-to-School Transition Book.

I wanted families to have something they could use together at home - a gentle way to prepare children emotionally, explore any worries they might have, talk about what to expect, and make school feel just that little bit more familiar before the first day arrives.

Because sometimes we can't remove the challenge. But we can remove some of the uncertainty. And that alone can make a world of difference.

Closing Thoughts

The goal isn't to create a perfect transition. It's to help our children walk into school feeling as safe, prepared, and understood as possible.

Some years will go smoothly. Some years won't. Some children will bounce through the classroom door without looking back. Others will need a little longer to settle. Both are okay.

As SEN parents, we spend so much of our lives helping our children navigate a world that often feels unpredictable. If we can make even one part of that world feel a little more familiar, a little more manageable, and a little less overwhelming, then we've already done something incredibly valuable.

And sometimes, that's all they need.